Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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