Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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