she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
