i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
