I want to have your abortion
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
