Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
