susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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