Swine flu. Run for my life!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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