So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Randomize
