but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
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