Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
no, he came in my armpit
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
