Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
