Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
