So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
