it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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