youre lurking in front of me
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
