STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
this hospital has no fireball
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
