lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
