end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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