I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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