is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
