theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
