"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
