bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
