bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
