this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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