that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Two words: nipple clamps
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