how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
