wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
