He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
