I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
