I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
