OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
