I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
