I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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