The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
nutella sex= disaster
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
people are starting to question the shark bite story
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
