I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
do nipples grow back?
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