Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
tell your sister to shave her snatch
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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