I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
