return my video game
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
