Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Life is so much better after having sex.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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