The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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