South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Randomize
