talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
