I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
