I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
