the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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