I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
