so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
