Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
