Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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